Hats Off

In honor of Memorial Day, I think I’ll share this story my grandfather told me over Thanksgiving.
The two of us were sitting in my favorite place for breakfast, Sunrise Cafe, when my grandfather noticed a young couple sitting a few tables away.
They were enjoying their breakfast and chatting. The guy was wearing a hat on backwards.
“I hate to see people wear hats inside,” my grandfather said.
I didn’t really think much of it until I heard this story.
My grandfather, who I call Deet, flew helicopters for the Air Force during the Vietnam War.
Whenever servicemen had any downtime, they would sometimes go to the bar. The rule was if you were wearing your hat when you came inside, you had to buy everyone a round.
While it may seem like an expensive fashion statement, the rule became a privilege to those who faced life-and-death situations.
One of the guys Deet knew who also flew helicopters had an experience where his helicopter was shot down and the pilot narrowly escaped after ejecting himself and being rescued by another helicopter crew.
The next time he went into the bar, he deliberately put his hat on while inside and declared he would buy everyone a round.
Recalling the story left Deet a little misty – perhaps because of the privilege that came with wearing the hat or perhaps because of all the others who never returned to do so.
I think Deet would join me in saying thank you to all the military men and women who served this country, and to the many more who continue to serve.
I know of several people currently in the military and some who have recently finished their stints.
I personally only know of one who died in war. 2nd Lt. Leonard M. Cowherd III died in Karbala in 2004. I never met him but I know his family well. They are a compassionate, thoughtful and kind family and I’m sure Leonard was as well. On this Memorial Day, I thank Leonard, Deet and all who served.
While we all get to enjoy this holiday with cookouts, reading a book on the beach or spending time with friends and family, we should all remember those this day is meant to honor.
I wish you all a happy and safe holiday.

Signs of Spring

Thank you for returning!

Many of you who read this blog already know Meem or have at least heard about her. So, you may also know that when she needed a break from her children or grandchildren, she would suggest we go looking for signs of spring!

This past week, I noticed many during my day-to-day work routine, but the best was a 10-foot alligator, who no doubt is looking for a lady gator, being that it’s spring.

I came to know this gator when my editor called me last Sunday night to tell me about an alligator a group of  people were trying to save on Hilton Head Island.

“It might make for a good story,” he said. “Just try to get there before the TV station does.”

Done and done.

I like nothing more than chasing after alligators and the people trying to save them, hoping their legs don’t get chomped along the way.

So, Monday morning, while most people grab coffees and head into the office, I grab a notebook and head to a lagoon, where I know there is no fence but somewhere nearby a 10-foot alligator.

I love my job!

I arrive at apartment 516 in a condominium complex on the north end of the island.

A girl named Michelle comes to the door and walks me around back to the lagoon that’s about 25 feet from her back porch.

On the bank of the lagoon, half tail in and half tail out, there’s “Big Al” – who I also learned has lovingly become known as “Norm” and “Wally Gator.”

Meet Big Al

He can usually be found in a lagoon that’s more secluded in a nearby residential community. But last week, he went looking for warmer waters. It is mating season after all and gators are on the move to find the right match.

So, Big Al took up a lagoon that’s surrounded by apartments and parking lots. Since children and pets live nearby, the property manager is considering removing Big Al if he shows any signs of aggression.

That’s right. Moving him requires the reptile to also be killed.

Gators are a part of Hilton Head and, well , he’s probably been going to that lagoon for years – long before the complex was built about six years ago.

Wildlife biologists estimate Big Al is about 30 years old based on his size. By moving to that lagoon, he also scared away a much smaller gator who was about 3-feet long, known as “Spike.”

The residents who have come to enjoy watching Big Al/Norm sunning on the banks want to save him. They started calling gator farms in Florida, PETA and set up profiles for the animal on Facebook and MySpace. Look for “Norm Hilton” on Facebook or visit http://www.myspace.com/normthegator

Fortunately, the property manager got wind of the residents’ efforts and said he would leave Big Al alone as long as Big Al leaves the residents and pets alone. That means no one can feed him or agitate him. He might even return to his former lagoon – he did a few years ago, according to the manager.

So, for now, Big Al is quite happy in his new home. He has about 35 friends on MySpace and more than 1,000 on Facebook.

I just hope he finds that lady gator. Someone said they saw bubbles near him the other day. Bubbles usually indicate an alligator is underneath, but so far, there’s been no sighting, that I’m aware of, of a Big Allison.

Hopefully Al finds what he went looking for. In the meantime, I’m chalking him up as a pretty amazing sign of spring. And, definitely, my first alligator friend on Facebook.

Photos courtesy of Big Al’s friends.

Learning to fly

She wanted to be known as “grandmother.”

But being the first grandchild of the family, she should have known I couldn’t let such a typical and predictable name grace the woman that she was. After all, I would set the precedent for all other grandchildren to come.

Yes, I’m sure I thought about this as a toddler.

She came to be known as Meem Maw, which of course, was shortened to Meem. She was beautiful – inside and out.

I didn’t come to know until early adulthood how strong and influential she was, both in our family and in the social and professional circles she fluttered to because of family connections, friends or my grandpa’s work obligations. He, of course, earned a matching nickname -Deet Daw, and later, Deet.

Meem loved being a grandmother. She loved taking us to the beach to teach us how to ride the waves and search for the perfect hole-digging shells.

She’s the only grandmother I know who body surfed in her 60s and 70s. Her later years were also marked by grand achievements, such as earning a driver’s license and winning the popular vote to become an election officer.

I remember her telling me, after she had already won the election, how she didn’t know how she was ever going to stay up past midnight to tally the votes. A little late to be thinking about that.

She was a remarkable woman, who was full of love and acceptance, who could take on any adventure and encourage others to do the same.

She loved her family dearly and always spoke of everyone in the kindest of words.

It is those attributes, she passed down to her daughters and sons, who in turn, passed them down to their children.

Meem was someone who taught us all how to fly through the twists and turns of life, spreading kindness and love to all along the way.

“Kindness and love” was Meem’s motto. She probably spoke those words more than any other combination. She disciplined her children by sending them to a corner to read books on kindness and love when they acted badly.

At her funeral, her youngest daughter Barb, spoke of Meem’s legacy.

“It was all she ever wanted and what, indeed, she spread to others,” Barb said.

“To her, our greatest contribution was not sought on the athletic field (thank Goodness) or as the lead in the school play (though we have some thespians in the family) but as champions for kindness and love. Part of this mission was to care for those who were not always cared for, or, somehow unaccepted – and we were reminded ‘Two unkindnesses don’t make a Kindness’. “

It was at Meem’s funeral where I was reminded of the Butterfly Effect, which has become the inspiration for this blog.

Barb told the crowd of nearly 500 people – a testament in and of itself to how much she was loved – that the Butterfly Effect is a theory that a small butterfly in a Rain Forest flapping its wings can cause a tornado across the globe.

“I must believe its true – you are all here today because of the effect this woman had on you – through her smile, her kindness, her friendship, the life she lead, the children she raised, the grandchildren she adored, the husband she loved.

The impact of her simple gestures has caused a beautiful wave of love,” Barb said.

With that, she added, Meem was a great gift to us all. She spread grace and love to everyone – a legacy we are now responsible for carrying on.

“Our honor is to … continue to spread friendship, acceptance, creativity, graciousness, kindness and love,” Barb said.

“It is our job to be the butterfly – and to carry her with us always.”

And so, two years later, I am taking on this task. I’ve seen signs of Meem everywhere. Even on the days I don’t speak to her, I know she’s there. I see her at the beach. I see her in my family. I see her at church. I see her in signs of spring and in beautiful sunny days. I feel her love around me always.

And, now, I hope to share her through this blog, along with other aspects of my life.

There may be other grandchildren who will never get to meet Meem, but they will know her nonetheless.

They should start by knowing, she was so much more than a grandmother. She was a beautiful person, who spread her wings far and wide, and who is most lovingly called Meem.