Learning to fly

She wanted to be known as “grandmother.”

But being the first grandchild of the family, she should have known I couldn’t let such a typical and predictable name grace the woman that she was. After all, I would set the precedent for all other grandchildren to come.

Yes, I’m sure I thought about this as a toddler.

She came to be known as Meem Maw, which of course, was shortened to Meem. She was beautiful – inside and out.

I didn’t come to know until early adulthood how strong and influential she was, both in our family and in the social and professional circles she fluttered to because of family connections, friends or my grandpa’s work obligations. He, of course, earned a matching nickname -Deet Daw, and later, Deet.

Meem loved being a grandmother. She loved taking us to the beach to teach us how to ride the waves and search for the perfect hole-digging shells.

She’s the only grandmother I know who body surfed in her 60s and 70s. Her later years were also marked by grand achievements, such as earning a driver’s license and winning the popular vote to become an election officer.

I remember her telling me, after she had already won the election, how she didn’t know how she was ever going to stay up past midnight to tally the votes. A little late to be thinking about that.

She was a remarkable woman, who was full of love and acceptance, who could take on any adventure and encourage others to do the same.

She loved her family dearly and always spoke of everyone in the kindest of words.

It is those attributes, she passed down to her daughters and sons, who in turn, passed them down to their children.

Meem was someone who taught us all how to fly through the twists and turns of life, spreading kindness and love to all along the way.

“Kindness and love” was Meem’s motto. She probably spoke those words more than any other combination. She disciplined her children by sending them to a corner to read books on kindness and love when they acted badly.

At her funeral, her youngest daughter Barb, spoke of Meem’s legacy.

“It was all she ever wanted and what, indeed, she spread to others,” Barb said.

“To her, our greatest contribution was not sought on the athletic field (thank Goodness) or as the lead in the school play (though we have some thespians in the family) but as champions for kindness and love. Part of this mission was to care for those who were not always cared for, or, somehow unaccepted – and we were reminded ‘Two unkindnesses don’t make a Kindness’. “

It was at Meem’s funeral where I was reminded of the Butterfly Effect, which has become the inspiration for this blog.

Barb told the crowd of nearly 500 people – a testament in and of itself to how much she was loved – that the Butterfly Effect is a theory that a small butterfly in a Rain Forest flapping its wings can cause a tornado across the globe.

“I must believe its true – you are all here today because of the effect this woman had on you – through her smile, her kindness, her friendship, the life she lead, the children she raised, the grandchildren she adored, the husband she loved.

The impact of her simple gestures has caused a beautiful wave of love,” Barb said.

With that, she added, Meem was a great gift to us all. She spread grace and love to everyone – a legacy we are now responsible for carrying on.

“Our honor is to … continue to spread friendship, acceptance, creativity, graciousness, kindness and love,” Barb said.

“It is our job to be the butterfly – and to carry her with us always.”

And so, two years later, I am taking on this task. I’ve seen signs of Meem everywhere. Even on the days I don’t speak to her, I know she’s there. I see her at the beach. I see her in my family. I see her at church. I see her in signs of spring and in beautiful sunny days. I feel her love around me always.

And, now, I hope to share her through this blog, along with other aspects of my life.

There may be other grandchildren who will never get to meet Meem, but they will know her nonetheless.

They should start by knowing, she was so much more than a grandmother. She was a beautiful person, who spread her wings far and wide, and who is most lovingly called Meem.